An empty reality

Economy slowly killing me.. I'm just a lame person that really in a "comfort zone".. I've tried several times but God still haven't heard yet my pray, or maybe someday it will emerge.. or maybe it doesn't really wanna come.. I'm just a little person that praying and hoping for the best of us. I've tried and I'm failed, again and again.. I could not take this anymore, depress and suffer beyond fantasy.. crying out loud inside me, yelling through out my ears..

It's all because freaking economy that tearing me apart.. :-( I need an encouragement not an argument that leads me toward the dead end.. frustration all around me, need some space of motivation that helping my mind to solve it. I don't know, my writing day by day month by month year by year, all about condemning myself.. complaining about myself.. God please help me.. :'-(

Hari ku runsing
Hari ku marah
Hari ku binggung
Ada tak solusi nya?

Baik ku buruk mu
Jahat ku jahat mu
Diam ku diam mu
Pernah tak aku kisah?

Aku tahu diri ku
Kau pun tahu diri kau
Kita semua tak sempurna
Tapi smp bila?

Mari lah kita berdoa kpd Nya
Moga kita dpt keberkatan Nya..

Dunia manusia

Dunia ini kadang kala menjadi satu tempat org menzalimi manusia.. redha dgn ketentuanNya dan tawakal

Masalah itu ujian

Tidak boleh lari drpd masalah, ia dtg dan ia pergi, yg hidup mahupun yg mati, yg kaya mahupun yg miskin, yg sempurna mahupun yg kurang upaya, jadi kita semua mempunyai masalah yg tersendiri, tempuhinya atau pun melarikan diri darinya, tapi percaya lah ia sebahagian drpd dugaan Nya.. besar atau kecil kita harus merentasi harungan itu dgn waras dan penuh kesabaran, lambat atau cepat terpulang pd diri Nya utk diberikan pd kita. Aku masih waras dan bersyukur pd Nya agar mempermudahkan masalah yg aku hadapi, moga aku dpt apa yg aku hajati dan impi kn selama ini.. amin Ya Allah..

Searching

I don't know where to start, I don't know the plan for today neither tomorrow nor in future, for some reason I must stand tall and strong beside people around me, I confuse with myself confuse with the plan that has been planned, please GOD show me some other road that leads me to happiness here and hereafter. I know I'm just a tiny little person that prays, so hear my pray ... InshaAllah everything will good today, tomorrow and in a future.. please pity for me... Right now I'm so down, I'm so weak, I'm losing my touch as a human being.. I'm praying day and night for the best to my family and myself.. hopefully that's been heard.. amin...

Life goes on..

After a while I didn't open my blog, so now let's blog..writing writer! 1year and 2months I've married.. its a different kind of life..almost all matters shared.. there's a sweetness of marriage life..in about, 10more days syawal will come to visit our victory, or shall I say a Muslim victory.. alhamdulillah..so, til we meet again my alphabetical friends.. I've lost my touch in writing.. but again, today was a big success for me to post.. thanks world!

The scariest moment by Pus & Buu ( one upon a time to...)



you cant see me?!




bimbang akan kejadian diluar kereta





pose tapi cuak ;P





bila da smp kat hotel... masing2 takut tgk specis kucing kat situ sume bulu kembang2...bulu depa (puss & buu) suma pendek & lebat...fuh gonna miss them...huuu~

FINALLY

What else can i give? I'm so down to earth accepting all those large meteor and tiny little stone toward my head... I am just a vulnerable person that not so influence to everybody...but my heart knows that, there's a kind heart person out there that knows me well... I'm accepting all kind of negative impact right now...so at the end of all this...I hope the effect of negative turn to be positive to rejuvenate myself..inside out... GOD, please give a a strength & wisdom to overcome this scenario...

2010

I has been a long time i didnt post anything here!haha... huh...kinda busy + no internet connection source. my life, now feeling good and great, its good for sometimes having a "down" sad day which i can call it emo day...but basically its a thing normal for people who wanted to evolve him/her self upon to the next level...

Me and my dear (ofilia) going well and of course we are on the next level to be together, insyallah... there's been ups and downs toward our relationship, but i thing that each of us buried in mind that what ever happen we control the situation positively and tolerate in any form of language. the more and more we are, we evolve to understanding each other well time by time..right dear?

Move on to my band situation and journey. its been tough days for "DISCOVER LAURA MINOR" to keep it up the passion of music in each of us... line up for d.l.m. now is me, k-rol and new member nuar... sad for d.l.m. when our x-guitarist falls down to quit because maybe he was to frustrated and anger all around his line... but let bygone be bygone...one out and more future for d.l.m. comes... Insyallah we will produce our own demo, rough demo in this FEB 2010...hopefully...

the ups and downs is a normal thing that happen in everyday life...its up to us how we handle it...with positive steps or the other way. it makes me think how beauty of life manner could be, and sure HE will look at us to judge what option that we'll take to survive in this great earth... think positive and you rock your own world!

CRY

half of my day
i cried...
the more i feel
the more tears it fall on my cheek
the tears that never had a price tag
and its free of course

half of my day
i cried in the toilet
in my room
at cafe
at emergency exit door
and its free to let it out

half of my day
i cried...
why? im hurt...
im struggling with emotion that i had
no one would share my emotion and my tears
because its free of charge

half of my day
been thinking bout you
cry to solve my problems
and i know...

half of my day

i always love you, with my tears going down and flooding this keyboard...

i cry to say i love you sayang.

*cry while writing*

so here i am, sad and sad
i wish she knows bout what im feel
i try to be the best
and i like you to encourage me as well
but somehow it turns out differently
im feel scared
im feel dying
im feel hopeless
down to the level that so deep and dark
am i wrong?
i know that im too slow too stupid enough about all things
but here i am alone with my feelings
and write it down for me to express the sad I've been through
dear! i wish u could hear my heart and of course i wish you could hear my voice
i love you more that you know
but why did you treat me like that?
you know i am right?

im dying right now
the pain that only you can heal it
please dear, im so deeply feel like a no one to anybody...

will you love me like you love me before dear?

i want to die forever with you
dont let me feel like this

from the bottom of my heart i express it deeply and i say it to you
i love you sayang!... :|

The Confession of Heart

Our relationship is getting strong and serious, and i hope they will be a dot for us to live our life together. Its been A year and of course 5 months already, we be knowing each other. Actually we meet for about 3 years, and that is the turning point for us to move ahead until now, passion of love to be created and soon to be something really big and huge "the life of love"... Im so happy to be with you whether the time that you feel so mad, so stress, and im here to cheer you up. Whether im sick there's me for you to make your day "A DAY" :D

The more we share our love the more we getting know each other, to more your love you gave me the more the heart i've create for you. The experience that we had together is so sweet and such a memorable memories that wont let us apart. For now till end, there's my heart i'll gave you, you are the only one my soul mate forever dear... my confession in writing here is true and only you can read my heart deep inside...

I Love You...Sayang! even words cant describe my feeling toward you... hug and kiss to my dear!

Poof After Poor

poor after poor,
not that im so greed,
not that im too selfish,
not that im not grateful,
its just im thinking and thinking,
thinking of not to be poor,
for me, for us, for my my family...

poor after poor,
relate in many shape of problems,
maybe im not too good to deserve what i suppose to,
its just im quite often think a way to solve it,
for now, for future...

poor after poor,
money, all it is about,
without it nothing we can buy,
without it nothing we can pay,
money, what should i do?
cry? scream? mad? scare? happy?

think of poor people a bit,
we r glad to have something that they dont have,
and it depends on us to share a bit...
a bit of happiness that we claim which ours...
poor after poor...
im thinking positive and negative of waht should i do!

anger with a cause

tergamak org buat camtu semate2 nk curik barang ek...kalu barang tu kecik ok lagik laa, tp barang tu besar..ceshh!! cilake nyer orang..die nk curik my GF car. habes door lock punyer silinder die amek sbb dengan satu motif, tuk duplicate kunci kete, then die leh bwk lari kete tuh..seb baek we in a gud and fast action we take, hanta kete tuh ke tempat yg selamat... barang2 dlm kete pon xterjejas pon, mmg xder paper pon dlm keter.. adeih geram laa aku dibuatnyer isshhkk!!! ade polis pon kan leh wat ape2, kalu laaa aku jd CSI siap laa org tuh aku carik die sampai lobang cacing kerawit laa..

so skang kene laa tuka 1 set door lock tuh if not that srtupid person will come again.. haih..sabo je laa, xper arini ari die, next time might be our days to pay u back, in a right way!!

p/s: xper dear, arini ari diorang nnt ari kite... btw i da survey daa door lock tuh.. MAY GOD PUNISH THAT GUY BADLY...aminn...

2009

a new chapter has begun to my life
a new revolution got to be done as i wanted to be
a year before we created love
same to be for this year and for sure it will be huge to grab what we want all this time
my dear! i couldnt say to u how deep is my love towards u.. and yes i do love u as long as i live.. and its true..
all those memories all those words i keep it until its real for us
my dearest love... the way i look u is more than u thought and i hope u look at me in the same mode as i am...
i know u love me with all ur heart dear.. me too...

its been awhile i dont write here, but for sure i got so many things to say to u
as we celebrate a new year with a beautiful fireworks i watch the beauty of ur love
u gave me an inspiration to carry on my life to believe in me to catch ur love deep inside there...

as the movie rolled u slept and there i saw the sweet of u while u close ur eyes and theres goes a new year for us...its like a cute baby that i hold in my arms closed.. god! i love u so much that i cant imagine and express it by words
you know and i know what we are..

sayang happy new year and hope this year will be the greatest year ever for us..
may our life rich of love and prosperity
and i hope we will settle down what we are suppose to be dear...

I LOVE YOU and I LOVE YOU SO MUCH sayang!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------

love is not a word
love is love
love is who you are
love never dies
love stay in your heart
love is what you show others
love is inside us all
love is what sets you free
love is your heart
love is your family
love is a song
love is inside you
love is what lets people in
love is around you
you might not see it
but love is there
you just might not believe
believe in love
and love will show you the way
the way to who loves you the most

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Ichi Nendo my dear!

I think back to the day
I first looked into your eyes
Admitting I saw something
I just hadn't realized
You would be my one and only
My lover and my friend
The one to share my life with
Who will be there 'til the end

Together we've made memories
There were good ones and some bad
We've learned about each other
What makes us happy & what makes us sad

Today, I want to let you know
On our anniversary
I vow once more to love & cherish you
For all eternity

She's a mastermind behind all this event

yesterday was a good surprise ever
the way i thought was not what it is
the way i feel is not what it is
she goes she left is just for a one purpose
the purpose that make myself appreciate her for the rest of my life

my friends! thank you for a great shocking moment
i've been "cheat" by him and all because of this
surprise!!!

after work i rush to K's house watch a bit man utd game
they won 4-3 with hull
the he wants me to hangout at "izwati" one of the food stall at ampang and very cool
can eat exotic thing like diana do always hehe...
at 1st i refuse, i wanna eat other place but he strongly want me to go there...
ok you win!

after i touch down there i saw wawa and azea's car
i say wahh what a coincidence to meet them here...
so we sit at the same spot...
the thing that i remember is azea convince me that her sister already at kulim
i say yeah i know that cause we been messaging each other since she "left"..
then.. surprisingly moment comes...

someone has closed my eyes tightly
i confuse with it...why..
in my heart i guess this must be a surprise birthday they want to setup for me
but its not cool enough she doesnt here with me...
then i guess the person that closed my eye
i said fonso ek?
it couldnt be cause the hand was so smooth..then
the scent that i really knows, really loved touch my nose
and its her perfume it cant be her?!
but i admit it, its her...its her... my dear ofilia...

she slowly remove her palm from my eye, then they sang a birthday song to me
witn a cake which is my favorite taste "blackforest" from secret recipe...
then i look at her face smiling at me..
my face show an expression of confuse, happy, and more which is i dont know what it is...haha
THEY SURPRISE ME!!! YOU got me!!

she is the mastermind behind this event.. no mattter what i love her so much and i appreciate the things that she done to me... arigatou dear!!

my cake says that im 37 years old wow!
haha typo error!

we eat them and still im in confused because i thought she at kulim spending her time with her family but actually she has plan this long ago..

then a present time...yeah yeah!!
i got the most great present ever..i got guitar stand for my cj! and also guitar strap from planet waves its was so cool..with a stars design black and white..i love it dear... i love you!!

thanks for the surprise!
thanks for the present!
thanks for the moment you create for me!
thanks sayang! i love you always!!

a month that we're counted

this is november! and sure it is a month that we're always waiting to be celebrate
it is the most important to me..and sure it will be the everymonth and every year celebration.. rewind back the memories...i have a great time with you and of course im happy to be with you..always and forever! appreciate ourselves appreciate the love appreciate the relationship we got... love you my dear... ;-)

p/s: 1 more day 4 me 10 more days 4 us... (im sick right now... kinda having a fever laa) i mish you...huu

Breakfast with words

since the picture of life drawed without a stop
its like the imagination never fade or never less
the river water never dry and keeps the living things alive
i never thought that how wonderful and beauty the nature create a reflex towards our life
the more you relate those thing the more wide your vision comes ahead
but still im crawling to find a clue to begin my new life
a life that really matters and important to me

sometimes the tears that falls down is hiding behind the curtain
and sure, never would know it, would feel it...
am i just like a sand that can be see but its hard to see in details, one by one
i wish myself just flying by the blowing of wind
go whenever its blow and i have nothing to compromise

damn..im still what i am..
believe what im still believe in
hope they know what im trying to do here
hope they treat me as them...
i have no clues, no ideas..
it just me crawling into picture that still been drawed

apart of it.. im glad that someone that i love is understand myself
she's everything to me..to my life
the relationship that will never stop until the end of us
thank you my dear, thank you for the love you share it with me...
i love myself, i love you...
love is so abstract when appears in a painted picture
and also unique when we talk out of our mouth
im glad you standing by me everytimes..my dear..

love you always...

SELAMAT HARI　RAYA AIDIL FITRI MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN

wishing all the readers in my blog selamat hari raya aidilfitri maaf zahir & batin... an apologize to all if any of my words hurt your feeling direct or indirectly... enjoy your raya guys!!