The lonely ant life

today im just sitting in my office without any stuff to do, while listening to "lagu untukmu" by Meet Uncle Hussain" and viewing people down there, i think about myself and whats gonna happen to me next... is it good or is it bad? i just can think about it..but i cant change what it suppose to be happen.. it scared me, and sometimes i just don't want to think about it. its all about myself, my working life, my relationship life and so on. but mostly i just think about my carrier my job, huh... (at least i have a job and why should i complaining to myself?)hah, probably my life doesn't bond here and i need to be socialize but not like this...talking to myself everyday.. it can turn me to be an insane person laughing all alone, smoking all alone, and of course living here in the office all alone! i don't how much longer can i stand of this scenario.. i will wait and see how will it go, and i will follow the flow of my instinct to what should i do next...

looking at the small creature called ant walking solo without any of his tribe in front of my table makes me wonder how pity to be live alone and trying to survive a life without communicating to others. just you imagine, what should you do if you a lost and lonely ant without any socialize life. haha! for me im sure that i can live, but im dead from the inside and slowly it eats the outside part! so, scary woo! i know i should do something before it turns to be like...i don't know how to say! but im glad im still not alone 100% cause i got you.. you know YOU! i feel so alive when we communicate.. and im so thankful to you ARIGATOU! if not.. i die like ant up here huhu~ better i go for smoke for a while then i continue...

After smoking

hah! its surprising me already while i smoke in the toilet the i meet Mr. Halim and we were chat. he is kind of iraninan and an chief editor of "the criteria" newspaper that founded by SABA and all the financial matter covered by ABIM. but the thing is would you believe to make a newspaper that release once a month the workers that done it is only 3 person including Mr. Halim! OMG! who's going to be photographer? designer? journalist? and other post that need to be have, but the reality is this 3 hardworking people that doing their job well. he said to me, that actually SABA have a lack of weakness. OK! i been taken by Mr Halim to tour their office then i see, only 1 desktop that actually got to be for designing purpose and another one is laptop for correction of grammar mistake... i couldn't imagine how this guys do their job. Mr Halim said he tried already asked Puan Saba for increasing the number of computers and also the staffs but she haven't yet solve the problem. all that i know is, Puan Saba wants me to be up here to "guard" this office..but she actually should put me in publishing department because theres short of staff. what can i do! but Mr Halim want me to join the team, its kind a cool if i work there! haha what can i say, i just wait for the right moment to discuss this for! actually he kind of sad to look me staying alone in the other side of office.. nobody to talk, nobody to make a laugh and what so ever... then the final word from him is, try la talk to Puan Saba about you want to join this team, then i say, ok..i'll talk to her when the time has come!
after that, here i am again writing without any conclusion.. just write and write..

p/s: kamu! i forget la what is your blog address... nnt kamu kasi tau ya! hope you write when you have something to express... :-)