poem it is

haha at last i spend my money on my favorite book written by Charles Bukowski... but i didnt buy the one i should buy which is "The Last Night of the Earth Poems"haih sad, sad cause the one that i see is the only copy that kinokuniya had... the book looks so kotor2 and dah lusuh pon cover dier hrmm... so, i buy the same book written by him called "Bone Palace Ballet" this also is the greatest collection of his famous poem... the themes of his writting is more to fragile relationships, heavy drinking, and the art of writing, i think... mostly about his life line and also the experience that he had and to be share with us. i think, i got to spend more time to read it cause its kinda tebal ar... kehkehkeh... i almost finish compose my song called memories with Shuk... our part is finish so only other members not yet to hear this song. its kinda lovely song i think? hahaha.. flashback all the great memories together whether it is hard to remember so i got this ilham and i wrote it... grammar? huhuhu tonggang langgang ar :)) ... but im so happy i can express myself into a writting medium and plus the instrument.
tomorrom at office i think 7 new crew for internship come and join da club haih ramainyer!! derang sume from YPM and all girls wah gler ar... kehkehkeh sompit la meje den kalu camnih weh nak layan lagu sambel bangging pon susah ar... xper2 just for about 2 month or probably 1 month lebeh nak abes internship nih. i cant wait to finish this torturing session ar arrgghh!!! so finally i did what i supposed to do but in the twist scenario whether i dont want to do like that... im sorry cause we didnt go out as i said... sorry. i hope u hear my voice of sorry without looking my blog...kehkehkeh mane leh dengar aku kat umah ;) life is about to experience the whole feeling and emotion without thinking and learning as long as it didnt come out worst and bad things (i hope?!)

p/s: how old are you now ek?? heppi besday skali lagik kehkehkeh and hope u like it(the present) whether i dont know the right one that u like... cause the smell of it remind me about those happiness.. and have a heppi day everyday and be the luckiest girl on earth that you should be okay? sayonara tata ;)

mental state

i know i cant stop of dreaming... some sweet n some might be nitemare
i hate to be what i am and i love to be someone around me
i drive myself into something that i couldnt make it...im sad...
but im still used to be someone that in the past, can i?
who feel this kind of feeling?
i know someday i will stop dreaming of it... perhaps i dont want
i can feel numb in my heart whether im trying to hurt it
with the tones of breath i will... and i will keep my dreams until
i am deaf tones... anyway how i feel is the deepest ever gap between
how you feel, i hope that im okay for the craziness of i am

wednesday story

*yawn* wah baru habes wat lagu, kali ini my lirik is about the memories yg telah lama kite tinggalkan dan hendaklah dikenang agar ia segar dlm ingatan kite... so, today kinda really tired sesampei kat opis sampei skang akibat membuat layout website yg slalu kene revamp walaupon aku sering consult ngan derang haih... nampak gayenyer kenelah wat web ni sampei abes intern waduhhh!!! *yawn* i hope this nite dlm la tdo n dpt sweet dream yg besh2.

ermm my head skang nih tgh dok layan lagu dprd Rancid yg berjudul "As Wicked" mengenangkan zaman2 mude remaje taim dedulu... besh gak zaman tuh cepat marah, cepat dlm segale2nyer, and bler da zaman agak dewase ni tgk dak2 skang kengkdg tuh tergelak sengsorg teringat zaman dulu hahaha... tp dak2 skang da advance xmcm dulu hebat, nk ape je leh dpt skang nih! haha time on da way home jln kat depan Modestos, Beach sume kene tutup akibat Menara KL launch ape nih name arak nih..ermm.. tah ape tah name dier... tp yg best nyer ade hot balloon... wahhh besar tuh mat2 saleh tuh sebok tgh wat kije2 meniup belon ngan mulut derang hahaha... giler ar tiup pakei mulut... kasi pasang itu api larrr baru leh besar itu belon. *yawn* hahaha siap kene marah ngan cik polisi lagi tadi sbab aku sgt teruja tgk derang sampei jln pon aku block kehkehkeh...

elaun pon da masyuk, tp kali nih derang kasi cek la plak cesh2... nak clear dlm 3 ari ar waaa.. : ( ape leh wat xsabo nk rembat buku poem Charles Bukowski nih RM 70 hengget wahh best tol writing dier... tunggu jgn habeskan itu buku kalu abes gak haih RM 70 wat makan ar jawapnyer... wah melalut punye melalut da panjang lebar da pon *yawn* ok all the best fr people arround the KL, Malaysia and World... Peace No War yeaaaaaaaaahhhhh ermuahhh luv peace!!!
arigatou gozaimasu...

Cant dream

im in insomia mood...
cant sleep,
cant close my eyes,
cant see what infront me,
whether im already open my eyes,
all that i can see is a words that want me
to type here... arigatou gozaimasu...

"Broken"

Why are we overcome with fear?
What if I told you that fear isn't real.
Why are we overcome with death?
What if I told you my friends your doubt
You could live without!

There is a question I want to understand
Why can't everyone tell the truth and learn to love again

Do you know...what it feels like to be broken and used
Scared and confused
Yes I know

One more question...I know time is dear
Is what the world speaks of love really real?
The answers not of this world but very clear
Look above to find love and you found eternal life

Street corner preachers you've heard before
Friendly advice just gets thrown out the door
There is a question that I want to understand
Why can't everyone tell the truth...and learn to love again

Do you know...what it feels like to be broken and used?
Scared and confused
Yes I know...what it feels like to be broken and used
Scared and confused
Yes I know

I'm Broken!

*sang by Scott Stapp

Sit

i sit on the toilet sit and lit my cigarette
nothing to do just want to make myself away for a while
i want to get rid of this...
i know i cant...
a lot of idea been rejected, so do i
where i want to go?
just sit on the toilet sit...

Rose

If Life is like a rose, then what about the thorns?

Memories

Tomorrow is a mystery. But do we really know a great deal more about the past?

kenapa aku masih tertanya terhadap diriku
tanpa perasaan ini hatiku layu dan entah bagaimana kehidupan aku
aku terus menanyakan soalan ini kepada dirimu di alam lain
adakah aku ini orang yang dicarinya?
adakah aku selalu menoleh kebelakang tanpa menyambutnya?
dan adakah aku untuknya?
aku keliru dan tidak mampu berlaku apa-apa
aku hanya mampu berlari dengan air mata terus kehadapan
soalan demi soalan aku tidak mampu menjawabnya
aku binggung dari mula hingga akhir dan ketika ini...
aku hanya membiarkan jemariku menaip apa yang dirasanya
dengan rela dan bebas ia bergerak memberi kata-kata itu

aku sekali lagi melihat diriku kedalam cermin dan melihat aku
memandang tepat ke mataku dan melihat ada seseorang disitu...
siapakah dia? apa yang dia inginkan terhadap diriku ini yang tiada keistimewaan?
perasaan mengeluh aku kian melemaskan aku hingga aku sendiri hampir kelemasan
kenapa aku terus dan terus begini hingga menyeksa kehidupan aku?
mungkin aku sudah dewasa dan inginkan apa yang dikecapi oleh mereka
tapi aku tidak pasti akan kehadiranmu... atau mungkin kehadirannya hanyalah
bayang-bayang yang aku sendiri ciptakan?

close to you and closer you to me
returning all the hapiness to you that will cheer you
i hope that this will never happen cause it give me a huge impact
but God knows what Hes doing and He want you to closer to Him
thanks for being my friend no matter im happy or sad
cheering me and supporting me...
dear God with my hand writting and the prays to you
i hope You to save him from bad things there and...
i hope the rest of us understand and think about what happen
and try to change what we suppose to change
thank you my friend... i will miss you forever...
close to god and closer us to You

Al-Fatihah to our friend (Mohd.Amin Md.Arif) and may God bless him and place him at the good place there... we miss you my friend... AMIN YA RABBA'LALAMIN...

War’s Great Freedom

How many times must the far reaching hand of war stretch out,
And steal the lives of young men of great valour?
Why must war triumph in the conflicts of men,
While diplomacy fails in its efforts to avert conflict?

War is an immortal which is hated by all except the devil.
War is a crime ensnared by Satan upon mankind.
Mankind must fight the raging force of war.
Not with strength of arms but strength of heart.

Raging cannons roar and bomb’s blast.
Men come to meet the ground of God.
They are free at last.
Free of the work of Satan that is war in all it’s forms.

-Niall Clarke

Our democracy is but a name. We vote? What does that mean? It means that we choose between two bodies of real, though not avowed, autocrats. We choose between Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

-- Helen Keller

Behind the smile

brand new looks for my blogger... looks kinda cute and i like it... i luv bananas and monkey dont forget the gecko...kehkehkeh... wah my website project again been revamped... i dont know lah why, when they said they want that, i give that but when i show it again... argghh damn they said change it... change..change...change, what the hell was that am i going to do this website for the rest of my 3 months there? haih... hard to say but it give me a real headache and alot of stress.

so the life goes on no matter what it gonna be, and one more thing bout the israelite... hate them and i hope you guys pray to God to stop 'em from attacking,bombing,murdering an innocent people especially children and women out there ... Amin

p/s: peace and freedom is all about hormony not a burial ceremony...peace no war!!!

circle of edges

everytime sadness come... everytime sadness go...
seek and bond to the man that always overthink
the shape of circle now become more and more edges...
i dont know how to rebuild it or repair it cause im paralyzed
in the sense of an old dimension that always told me not
people seek hapiness...but im?! owh well i think im still the old one
the one that people see me as ashes that can fly anyway and can be
anything that they always wanted and can be throw if they want...

now im still trapped somewhere that i dont know where, whether...
its true or not... 1...2...3...4...5... i sick of counting the edges that
already grow to make more and more destruction there...
in sleep i always pray to god that i wish to have somekind of...
motivated strength, to hold me and keep me in the shape that i build it
why...why...why... i doesnt seem to understand what is it that i see when i open my eyes
but maybe i will understand it when i close my eyes for a while or maybe forever

sadness of losing sadness of pain sadness is the kind of word that create
many kind of desvastating inside out...
i know and im sure i will not stop walking in the place that i dont know where...
and i will stop if i found and lead me to the real world and shape back the circle
that i build it alone...

*1.00am (in the middle of mixed emotion)

Loitering yang tak henggat

waah da lame xhangout same member2 akhirnye dpt gak ari nih melepakan diri kat MMU sambil bersukan... mcm2 sukan maen dari yg berpeluh sampei la permainan yg xpeluh... mimi, ofie same nisa yg sengal telah join da club utk meluangkan mase kami yg xtau nk wat aper weekend nih. so kami maen basket "bell" bak kate dee huhuhu kene bahan giler die!! pas abis membuli ofie n nisa maen basket bell tukar game laks, maen bola wahwahwah energetic tol dak2 pompuan tuh hebat tp cepat pancit... ofie the scorer hebatz sungguh hahaha... pas sume da betul2 pancit kami pon tuka game maen card lak betul2 kat basket ball court hebat tuh open gambling hahahaaha... kat situ la mcm2 point kuar kene bahan, kene gelak, kene le semue...

abis la aktiviti bersukan, paas sukan mesti lapo and dahge kan? so derang ni ngan rajen nyer maen masak2 kat umah ofie... masak spegehti tuh wahhhh hebat tol... and dtg la sorg lagi anggota penguatkuase simpanan iaitu cik dee...hehehe... giler hari ni sungguh xdiduge aktiviti yg ingat nk bersukan leh laks melepakan diri sambil mkn2... xabes lagi tuh maen card lagi tuh then tgk movie "The Benchwamers" gelak lagi ler aku sampei pecah usus... hahaha brutal2!!! gelak sampei le kol 3.30am tadi n aku pon da xlarat nk port sbab sok pagi nk kene pi ofice sambong wat kije yg terbengkalai cesh!! hate working on sunday and saturday haih ape nak wat student yg still practical so ape lagi perah tol2 la derang... huhuhu so im feel today gives me some sort of energy to continue the life that i still got... thanks guys, and thanks for lending ur time for me...
;) arap2 next week leh le lepak2 camni lagi

p/s: hows ur exhibition i hope u had a gud day there!!! : )

Yesterday high

high at nite
high in car
high and caught in the traffic
high for scared
high for pyhcological
high when i cant stop
high when u can stop

high to be lose of someone in ur eye
high when u got someone in my eye
high...high...high just a word can describe it
high until im gone to messing world
yet im still in the reality...
yesterday high with u make me broke the rules of high

high and drive
high and laugh
high and cant drive
high and sad
high so many word can blend with u
high for yesterday nite...

Balek awal hari ini

Ermm... ini ari aku balek awal sbab teruje nak jamm ngan Shuk, lagipon stress and tension yang kami tempuhi haih xdpt lagi ditahan... so ape lagi jamm ar ari ni same Shuk, Mus and of course mister frontman kiter Arabican...hehehe, so dak2 ni ask me to join their band cause they need guitarist so ape lagi set je ar for side project, after all i got so many artworks to be heard by people out there. so ok la jamm arini for a starting point... derang pon manyak cover lagu2 RHCP owhh man i luv it (FUNKADELIC) pasni hippies ler aku kehkehkeh!!! so i hope i can lead them to be a "band"...

p/s: ape bikin you agak sibuk ek hehehe caiocaio gurl ; )

Bulan

Hari ini ku melihat bulan penuh
Terpancar satu kilauan yang dapat mengindahkan mata
Lalu aku terpaku melihatnya
Bulan... kau terang... kau sangat terang
Yang dapat menyuluh kehidupan malam setiap insan

Hari ini ku melihat bulan penuh
Setiap malam aku inginkan kehadiranmu
Tetapi tidak... cuma waktu yang dapat menentukannya
Bulan... kau ditemani bintang disana... kau punyai keindahan
Seperti aku, Aku ingin juga bersamamu bulan penuh

Untuk aku mencari teman seperti kau...

The Lonely

This thing that they call love
That so many are in search of
What some they may find and some lose in time
Only the lonely dream of

The lonely dream only of it one day in their lives
When that day comes they won't toss it aside
The lonely they know and will cherish so
For only the lonely get it right

Love of so many descriptions
The art every part of the heart
Love when it comes to the lonely of one
They will hold on and believe not let it fall apart

I know that since I have found you
Somehow you reached out and found me
I know cause I know where it is I have been
The lonely has allowed me to believe

This thing that they do call love
This thing that so many are in search of
This thing that only the lonely they dream
I know, I once dreamed of your touch.

Beautiful!

Honesty is beautiful
Kindness is beautiful
Intelligence is beautiful
Talent is beautiful

Beautiful is a romance with such abundance
Beautiful are the flowers that roam the earth
Beautiful is awaking to the sound of singing birds
Beautiful is a disguise
Playing hide and seek inside and outside
Beautiful is as naked as the rising sun
Beautiful is delightful and truthful
Beautiful is the golden daylight that shines
And the taste of sweet colored red wine
Beautiful was never ever created by mistake
Beautiful is the ingredient we bake life’s cake
When all or nothing is at stake

I am beautiful
You are beautiful
We are beautiful

Beautiful is great
Beautiful is sweet
Beautiful is love
Beautiful is power

Come to me Mr. & Mrs. Beautiful
Let me into your little secret
Of why you are so obedient and dutiful

by Sylvia Chidi

p/s: you are beautiful

p/s: cool huh?!

So leave yourself intact,
'Cause I won't be coming back,
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I loved you.

*7/7/2006 1.37 am

Your eyes tell the stories of a day you wish you could,
Recall the moments that once have,
Retract the footsteps that brought us to this favor,
I wouldn't ask this of you...

*bump

Tall just like a giraffe,
you have to climb to find its head.
But if there's a glitch, you're an ostrich,
you've got your head in the sand.

Are you my lady, are you?
Are you my lady, are you?

*7/5/2006 4.35am

Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million, say:
Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me

Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy.

Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.

So I threw you the obvious
Do you see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Well, oh well..

Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all.

You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all

vanished through my illusion

vanished through my illusion

photo/picture

seing a photograph is good enough to describe what will be
to touch that picture is always and i will never get off my hands to it
floating my mind is currently exist when im think and feel the warm of it
stare... and stare... the tension that i raise it, soon disappear because of it
but to touch your face will soon make me...?
depend on the wind from north to south and west to east...
photos is alive and still alive with a great memories that we created
my fingers dont want to stop typing and my eyes dont want to stop looking
through the picture that is a reality life...

*3.7.06 12.00am

: (

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p/s : (

Sit & Wait

Walking down is easy to say if you have a guts
Walking up is really weird to do if you want to
Walking left to right and right to left is like crazy pople do when their mind is jammed

So i sit... onto comfortable chair...
Where... where am i?
is it the time now?
or i lack of information?

So waiting is my best solution rather than im walking toward nothing
Hoping & wishing for someone for somone to come & open the door
to start a new week & new life...

*26.6.06 10.00am

Black Coffee

Black coffee is your friend when suppose to make your open
Black coffee will raise your passion to not fall asleep
Black coffee the pure of yours can take me fly high
Black coffee should i drink you?
or should i throw you away?!

Black coffee you are my friend... but yes indeed your are my worst enemy!!

*26.6.06 9.46am