I am a dreamer about you, I am a dreamer about myself, Although it is a nightmare for me to dream about you and myself

Friday, November 30, 2007

So long! How short!

so long keyboard...
so long monitor...
so long mousy...
so long speaker...

how short the time we need each other...
how short the time we know each other...

so long phone...
so long toilet...
so long pantry...
so long emergency stairs...

how short the time we've been conflicted
how short the time we talk each other

so long to happy voice
so long to anger voice
so long to flirting voice
so long to sad voice

how short the time for me to understand it
how short the time for me to get use to it

so long! how short! its kind of emotional situation that i feel right now!
sorry to all and thank you for accepting me in this department
so long! how short! life is about sacrificing all the bad to good and the good to bad, thats all i know the life to survive to live here!!

so long! how short! ;-)

p/s: waiting for the 10th Dec 07 to rebuilding a new road and i hope it much better than a highway... and kamu! thanks for your support back those days ya! :-)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

AISHITERU!!!

I love the way you hold me
I love the way you care
I love the way you look at me
and how you're always there

I love the way you say 'i love you'
I love the way you smile
I love how you make me laugh
when we talk all night

I love the way you make me happy
I love the way we're true
I love the way you love me
but mostly that i love you.
The emotions & activities around me from 17th oct till now...

dizzy
disorinted
overdose
faint
chaotic
mess
fuss
begging
demanding
silence
loudness
talking
signing
stapling
print
stamping
rebel
sleepy
anger
jokes
daydream
head banging
love (you)
miss (you)

The important thing in me inside (office) here is WRITING the life WRITING the experience to be shared WRITING the truth WRITING to relief ~i am the writingwriter

Friday, November 23, 2007

"Far Away"

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing

p/s: like the lyric it so emotional (review back since the last post..biler pon da xingat da), the way he express it through the song is much much emotional + the arrangement of the song is awesome + moderate part is so nice when the melody is repeating through our head..enjoy it! from "Nickelback"
Outrages sound and melody on their "vacation"

its like a melody
its like a sequence of tone
the tempo sometimes in normal beat 4 by 4 sometimes it goes like 3 by 4
the loud the sound the hate i am
the more the sound the crazy i feel

its like happy holiday everybody
its like you sitting on a bench at hawaii island then suddenly...tsunami come
its like cold turn to hot

its like a melody
its like a sequence of tone
what is it?
where is it everybody?
its like 20 become 5

the sound again EMERGE from the handle
its like a box
so many kind of color variation on it
sometimes with stickers on it

the sound again and again joining together to sing in their language
but i know their language
and i understand it, other people understand it
i hate and i feel crazy of it
please someone, somebody

PICK UP THE PHONE PLEASE!!
EVERYBODY GONE TO THEIR "VACATION"
AND HAPPY WITHOUT ANY SOUND BECAUSE THEY ARE DEAF.. huhu!!ITS A PHONE.. ITS A TELEPHONE..huhu...

Thursday, November 22, 2007

How I wanna ask for help if myself dont know it...

i dont know how to start and to say..
but it seems to bother my mind..
i dont know what is it..
it feel like i got to do something that can relief it..
seriously what is it that im thinking? feeling?
it was like jumble up + mixed up with i dont know what thing,
but back in the past i always feel like this,
but now suddenly it come to ruin myself,
probably maybe the stress and the tension in the working place or
maybe to much thinking of a problems or maybe because..
ARGGHH i dont know what is it!!
GOD.. please calm me down, i dont mad or angry to people today,
but i just dont feel like me today!!let me know myself with
my heart my soul and my body... :(

p/s: dont worry dear! i'll remember your words..

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

A day with a crazy hour till 3


today people seems to be nice to me maybe because I think they miss the crop hair man that always busying himself with work... i feel so ok today because of the environment actually its quite freezing here (can mutate me into a snowman cause snow da nk turun kat my office MY GOD!) and the people quite nice to me ;)...

there's one part that i think funny and true kot haha!! there's 1 my office mate said to me "weh mane ko pi smlm hah? ko gi dating ek

ngan awek ko?! yela..smlm pon kl org xramai so senang la bergerak kan *sambel ghenyeh2*" then i was said back to him "mane ade beb,aku xsihat laa smlm, aku agak demam + seseme sket tu psl laa aku xmai!!" then i plus my word more more "ape brg dating time weekdays beb?! org dating time weekend laa start jumaat, sabtu, ahad baru laa betul *dengan gaya kompoiden nye ayat tuh kuaq*" then,ok

this part is to remember, come 1 akak rerupenyer tengah pasang telinga heard my conversation with my mate, she said "wahh!romantik ko firdaus ek? akak ingat ko nih
ganas + rock rerupenyer ko nih romantik",then she plus "ala akak tau, org cam ko nih
mmg camtuh luar lain dalam lain,hahaha baru akak tau rupe2nye ko ni jiwang karat mcm awie dlm cite kpg pisang!" then i laugh out loud! so easy they call me like that...ok! i take that as a joke,its fine for me...selagi ia tak menjatuhkn my dignity...i have pride and also a stance to be followed! haha very funny la my office mate today, they just like 1 year didnt see me in the office haih! terharu2...

then, i rush to my work, in about 25 mins.. then come 1 more akak talking to 1 more akak, "eh! ko xpesan ap2 ke kat cik anuar tuh? kan die outstation kat srawak.." so, my ears like parabola satelite that catch every sound n frequency beyond any other satelite can..hahaha apekah? then continue 1 of the akak "aku ingat nak pesan pasu bunga laaa yang...blablabla" haih akaks talk! you know..then another 1"aku ingat nak pesan GAMBIR SARAWAK laaa...baru laa best lama skit" then i was like WHAT THE tuttut this akak order from mr anuar there. oh man!! then i suddenly, laugh in cover mode...so she caught me then she said "haaa tgk tuh firdaus tuh tau tuh psl GAMBIR SARAWAK mesti pernah gune *dalam style2 gurau gedik2*" then i said "mane de akak oi!! penah dengaq je laaa kan kat mesjid india tu kan bersepahm org jual apsal nk bli kat sane haih!" then dengan pantas nyer kene counter "sane baru pure n ori!!" OH MY GOD! ade gak akak2 mcm ni kt cni talking this kind of thing...uihhhh mereman
bulu roma ku mcm terjmp hantu lompat2 hahaha.. so i leave them with their hot
chat.. but every time that akak pass my cubicle she said "hah firdaus2 xsangka akak
ko nih ek" then she spoil my hepi day a bit i said "akak jgn la dok ckp camni tooloongg laa ok!!*ngan gaye yang tegas*"haha then she a bit blush laa kot.. too proud wuth her story about GAMBIR SARAWAK kasi sumbat mulut baru tau...:))

that is the weird and crazy day after i've been working here since october the 17th... i gotta laugh with all my heart te kuarkuar lepas abes keje ni WAHAHAHAA!!

p/s:mcm best je kamu tmpt kamu ckp tu, xper kalu sedap kite have a try ok ;)hepi reading yaa!!
Morning in a new day after resting one day

ohiogozaimasu! for me to feel better
ohiogozaimasu! for you to feel better
ohiogozaimasu! happy days for me today
ohiogozaimasu! happy days for you today
ohiogozaimasu! for you to make feel like this
ohiogozaimasu! for us!
ohiogozaimasu! aishiteru for all of my heart!!

working day in the morning is such a refresh activity like jogging in town with stressful road full with cars and motorcycle!!

URESHII!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Because of "M" doesnt want to stuck in our mouth...

so, we gone crazy on the bus stop, laughing till people scared on us...
so, my left arm (finger) feel so light and its so light because of the impact on the steel chair then it crack and place safely in my pocket (got to cari GAM GAJAH)...
so, we found a new name of ghost that lived only at Antartica and similar like her cousin in Malaysia that have a fang, but in a different way of fang and the way to suck of the blood...
so, we feel so sad and anger to the stupid giler nak mampos punyer progol, jage lah progol2 diluar sane waltianak akan hisap darah ke ape ke tak kisah laa as long as you're dead and shouldnt suppose to live in this harmony world...
so, the "M" alphabet make our language into a kind of alien language not makhluk kaki yaa!!hamahamhama...

the "M" days gone wild and crazy for us ;-)

p/s:whats your program tonite? PINAKELADA nak? joms? humuhumuhumu

Thursday, November 15, 2007

My Favourite to Strum

Which one will it be of this two?

Gibson SG

already got this one, but its a clone! but its okay if i have the original one right?! huhu..

Gibson Explorer

this one is kinda cool one! and im so adore to play it and jump with it!!

p/s: i want it both..huhu!! must saving! must saving!!
Colorful paper in my office

pick the yellow paper
compile it with detail paper
in a proper angle of height and witdh
then *KACHAAKK*, the sound of stappler emerge and breaking the noise of my Mp3
the hand of me right and left is no longer talking each other
except now in this moment, when they talking each other on the keyboard

after the stapple process finish, then the hard work of right hand begin to cramp
its all because of writing the numbers and the codes on the yellow paper
that yellow paper is a trouble maker that seems to make me arise the tension of boredom
today, the level was quite difficult even some might say it is just about the yelow paper, stapple and pen

give me a break! if i can i dont wanna see the yellow paper, but if i dont see the yellow i will be meet the green paper
what a colorful life of paper in my office
can you imagine it?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Ulser Go Away From Her!!

kamu! dont makan bende2 pedas cam 'tomyam' ek nanti saket lagi lidah kamu tuh. drink a lot of water yaa. if i can jd kecik mcm 'honey i shrunk the kids' i sure masuk dalam lidah kamu ngan lawan ngan sume2 makhluk2 ulser tuh.. cam iklan 'vitagen' tuh pakei sut angkasawan ala2 sheikh muzaffar shah *eh betul ke name die eja cam ni?* but i cant jd kecik cam tuh aiyark!! anyway take care ya ;) harap kamu cepat sembuh yaa...
Love you mom

Mom...is love...
Mummy....is love...
Mother...is love...
Mama...is love...
All words are same...
At mother...
Mother is same for love...
Love is same for mother...
Same with same...
With love...

p/s: suddenly I think about my mother at my cold office and i really really miss and love her... can't wait to go balik kampung this Raya Haji... love you mom!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Cool n Hot

memula sejuk bagai antartika sampai my head pun da nk naik pasif membeku mate pon bleh jd ice (ABC) lama gak xmkn ABC kan kan uwiuwiuwi!!... pastu skang ni panas lak bagaikan gurun sahara tak pun mcm kat egypt duduuk dalam piramid tu sambil pakai 10 lapis baju OR jaket bulu kambing biri-biri.. sooo hotttt!!!
lagi nak tambah hot my 1st cek tuk gaji bulan 10 xmasuk lagi, ni la masalah nye nih..adeih tolong laaa...adeh cakap kat blog pun, blog xleh help me kuarkan cek tu wakaka.. arini da la xlunch mkn kat umah je laa kene laa ikat perot jd cam waktu-waktu study dulu wahaha klaka2, keje da keje sen xmasyuk lagi arrggghhh tension nyer my head ni rase cam nk bom je tmpt ni... seb baek C4 xder yang ade just CIA and FBI jer cesh!!

but yesterday is kinda cool for me and ofcourse for you too isnt it? one-one-eleven will be the next feveret word for years and years ahead to come!! WATASHIHA URESHII.. OMAESAN, ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU from the bottom of my heart!!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Can..Cant

finally i say what i suppose to say,
finally i relieve of it,
finally i feel happy of it,
finally i struck with a million of questions that i dont know what is the true answer,
finally it gave me a chance to understand of me,
finally and surely im in a floating sky.. waiting to drop myself down from sky,
finally... whether im gonna survive or i will be explode like a smooth tomatos,
finally its me and its you in a word that i never said to others...

in the end... i just wait, listen and understand your answers... in the puzzled emotion of myself, can i? or cant i? ups and downs of my life!!

i try to puzzle the pieces of my brain that leading me to the answer

p/s: i dont know what to feel cause im so scared and im so dont know what to do here stuck in the office

Monday, November 05, 2007

Otak baru nak refresh akibat demam

Demam seharian memang ku rasakan seakan lumpuh
Tapi hari ini aku kembali beraksi (95%)...
Kembali ke tempat kerja yang penuh dengan kerja..
Yang bersepah-sepah macam nak kene panggil DBKL je,
MAK OI! terkejut aku di buatnyer,
Ada la akak ni kata ada "Mawi" perform kat bawah blok,
Menjerit-jerit cam anak dara! haih sabaq je laaa..
Semua akak2 dan makcik2 turun bawah nak tengok...
Mawi berjoget sambil nyayi... takpa laa tu hak diorang!
Diorang suke ape yang diorang nak,
Janji selagi diorang tak kacau aku, ok laa!!
Haih mana lak bos aku nih!?
Aku nak start key in data memerlukan authority card die,
Ni yang bosan ni dok kat kerusi sambil layan lagu..
Pastu berkhayal haha bukan layan pil khayal ok!!
Time keje pun sket lagi nk abes, pasni jumpa my bro...
Teman dia pi beli anak tikus kasi ular dia makan (BOA PYTHON)
Then pick up my sis kat school then off me to nilai...
Selamat hari isnin...

Friday, November 02, 2007

Omaesan oyobi Ware

I know we are meant to be
You know I am perfect for you
And I know you are perfect for me.

Never let me go,
My love for you is forever
This you already know.

I will always love you
Because when you came in my life
My feelings were brand new.

I know you are true
Because you are always near
And never make me feel blue.

You and I have been together for a long time
Maybe it is because I know you are the one for me
Since you never have left my mind.

You know how to make my day
Every night before I go to sleep
I ask the Lord for you to never leave me; as I pray.

I took a chance on us
I realized that I love you
And you I can always trust.

It will be you and me
Forever in my mind
I hope this you can see.

You are the person that can brighten my day
And for that
I always want you to stay.
Genap 1 tahun untuk aku

5 minit lagi menunjukan aku sudah mengenapkan satu lagi tahun untuk diri aku,
tapi ia berbeza dari tahun-tahun yang sudah... tahun lalu adalah memori tahun
sebelum itu adalah memori juga, namun satu pun tiada erti untuk aku meneruskan
nafas aku ini, aku bernafas hanyalah untuk aku dan untuk jiwaku saja... tiada apa,
tiada siapa, tiada benda, tiada aku didalam aku... hanyalah pedih dan luka yang
masih beku didalam, tiada siapa yang mengerti tentang jiwa hanyalah aku dan aku
disini seorang...

Aku pun kurang pasti apa yang aku nak post, hanya untuk menyatakan aku sudah genap
26 tahun... 26 tahun yang mungkin akan merubah aku, membentuk aku, menghargai aku,
mendalami aku dan pada 26 tahun ini aku merasakan sesuatu yang tidak pernah aku
rasakan selama ini...mungkinkah ia berlaku? mungkinkah ia terjadi? mungkinkah
ia terjawab segala persoalan aku selama ini? Ya! Ya! Ya! ia pasti akan terjadi! 26 tahun
akan membuka satu cerita yang baru untuk aku dan dia, cerita yang sama sekali berbeza
dari orang lain. cerita yang akan memberi keindahan, ketulusan dan perhatian... well,
its kinda late now, i better turn my brain n eyes off tomorrow ada ber bundle2 lagi work
nak kene siap... 26 of me, comes to gather all new fresh memory and life...
happy old day to me! satu, dua, tiga, *make a wish* yeay!yeay!yeay!

p/s: arigatou kamu ;-), anything let me know ok?